There is probably nothing harder in this world than ending a bad love affair. Well, maybe doing advanced Calculus might be a little harder, but not much. Truth is, there are just no words that you can say that will make ending an affair with somebody go down easier. So looking for some magic solution is going to bring you down a long road filled with disappointment. However, in this article, I’m going to share some tips that might ease the pain just a little.
For one thing, you need to be direct but sympathetic. Nobody likes a jerk and ending an affair with something like, “Hey, go take a hike!” is not going to win you many brownie points. You need to have just a little bit of compassion for the person on the other side. Of course this compassion should also be in proportion to how much of it you were on the receiving end of. Some people are just flat out mean and don’t deserve more than a kick out the door. But we’re talking about letting people go who are essentially good people.
When you sit down with the person, talk about the good times you’ve had. Tell the person what you like about them. Not all breakups have to be all bad. Truth is, no relationship is black and white. There is always some good and bad, even in the ones that stay intact. By pointing out the good times, you help ease the blow a little bit. Then, explain why you feel it’s best to end things. Make the explanation as clear as possible so that there is no mistake. Nobody likes a vague reason for ending things. Answers like, “It’s just not working” do not go over well. Explain WHY it’s not working. The person on the other end deserves that much.
Finally, and this is the most important thing, take responsibility for your part of the breakup. It’s never just one person’s fault. Explain what you did wrong and how that only made the situation worse. Total honesty will go down a long way. It won’t make your partner any happier but it will make it all go down just a little easier.
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Breaking up shouldn’t be like performing major surgery.
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